What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
