in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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