Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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