I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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