i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
only you would photoshop your dick
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
