She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
