I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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