Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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