Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
