love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
