Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
