yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
and you fell through a lawn chair
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
