One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
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You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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