it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I'm bleeding and have questions
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