How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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