Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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