party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
