I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
