i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
