I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
