Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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