You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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