i think i have two assholes
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
