the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
