can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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