Fine. I'll sleep in my office
She said her name was "party"
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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