Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
