Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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