so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
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I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
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I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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