But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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