guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
No subtext here. People are naked.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
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There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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