you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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