u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize