I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
they need to just BURY HIM!
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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