There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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