We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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