I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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