i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
