we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
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I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
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You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
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