wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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