Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
someone owes me an orgasm
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
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