His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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