I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
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