I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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