I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
