i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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