No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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