32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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