Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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