Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
