How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Randomize
