First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
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