i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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