We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
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She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
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i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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