he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize
