Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
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