she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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