I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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