And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
