Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
