At least make sure they are 18
Why
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
