its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
