And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
