Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
