so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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