Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
