We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
We are all done wearing pants today
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
