Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
